The Camel Toe Report

After 17 days without blogging, I thought it would be appropriate to post an edifying entry, something to appeal to the intellect. For this purpose I've chosen The Camel Toe Report. The emphasis is on the female toe, modeled here by Sharon Stone...



But there is no dearth of male toe and moose knuckles. You would never see a Hollywood celebrity today in a Speedo and flippers. Kind of ruins the Bogart mystique, doesn't it?



The commentary that accompanies the photos had me laughing so hard, I almost lost a lung.

Ouch!

Scarlett Johanssen takes breast support to the extreme.

What's Wrong With This Guy?

Last September, during a post-Katrina NBC-produced special to benefit the Red Cross, Kanye West made some unscripted remarks which shocked the nation and infuriated a lot of people. He ended his verbal diarrhea by stating that, "George Bush doesn't care about black people!"

While that may or may not be true, it's a very simplistic way to look at the situation. The truth is that Bush lives in a parallel universe and doesn't have a clue about what he's doing to this country.

With the Grammy's coming up, he's shooting off his mouth again.

"If I don't win album of the year, I'm gonna really have a problem with that," the Chicago rapper told MTV this week, responding to predictions that his mouth would cost him a victory.

"I don't care if I jumped up and down right now on the couch like Tom Cruise...I don't care how much I stunt--you can never take away from the amount of work I put into it."

And Kanye wasn't done: "I said I was the face of the Grammys last year. I'm 10 times that [this year]. . . . Two things: Do not let me get on that stage and do not let me get on that stage. Either way, we goin' crazy!"

To top it all off, his Assholiness wears fur. Watch your back, Kanye. You never know when PETA might appear.

Oh, and before I forget. I'm not done with you. Your song, "Golddiggers"? Here's what AngryBlackBitch had to say about it. Jerk.

The Disturbingly Cute Little Forest Mushroom

One of my favorite illustrations from Gallery of the Absurd, this one of Kelly Osbourne is really cute.

The Ubiquitous Paris

Paris Hilton is one of the most photographed women in the world. Watch how her facial expression doesn't seem to change in this flash sequence. I've never understood the fascination people have for her, and yet this is the second time I've blogged about her. 14's brilliant illustration is, so far, my favorite of all the ones she's posted in her Gallery of the Absurd, which just featured the new Paris Hilton VooDoo Doll. Notice the droopy left eye, the vacuous expression and the grotesquely large hands and feet.

Distant Cousins?

Is it just me, or does Kelly Osbourne's new boyfriend...


(Hat Tip: City Rag)

look a lot like her mother, Sharon?

Jude Law: Common Trouser Snake

The wonderful artist, 14, has outdone herself yet again with this page from her Field Guide to Showbiz Snakes.

Angelina and Zahara

(thanks, cityrag)

What can I say? Can you get any more beautiful and cute?

Plastic Surgery Aliens

Susan Sarandon, who looks pretty darn good at 58, recently said to Ellen DeGeneres, "I'm scared of plastic surgery. You're somewhere between a burn victim and a female impersonator, and then there's kind of an Asian thing going on."

Did she have Melanie Griffith in mind?

Or perhaps Hunter Tylo. Let's just stick to the area above the shoulders on this one. Oh, the collagen!

I have a feeling that she was traumatized at some point by the once handsome Burt Reynolds, who has obviously been replaced by a pod person.

(hat tip: CityRag)

Mickey Rourke, lovingly included in the Gallery of the Absurd...

The guy is only 48 years old. That's 10 years younger than Susan Sarandon! Seriously, he went from this...

to Phyllis Diller's illegitimate child...

And then there's the King of Plastic Surgery Aliens...

Fluent in Botulism

The girls at Go Fug Yourself are always funny, but they've outdone themselves with the commentary on this fugging. Check out the guy on the right in the white shirt and the bald guy next to him. Find the stalker.

What The Hell Was She Thinking?

Here she is, rapper, soon-to-be incarcerated, often fugged Lil' Kim, recent graduate of the Tammy Faye Bakker Clown College, where she learned to draw her eyebrows on with a Magic Marker. Kim also attended the Tara Reid Charm School for Victims of Bad Plastic Surgery and Wardrobe Malfunctions.

Warning: Welding goggles recommended for viewing this picture!

Hollywood Girly-Boys

Starletto rips the girly-boys of Hollywood. I so agree! She forgot one, though.

Dave Navarro, brilliantly skewered here.

But she did mention Nicole Kidman dating Keith Urban, and I laughed my effin' head off!

The Wonder Years

Anyone who watched The Wonder Years, one of the best series on television ever, will be shocked by this photo of Winnie Cooper (Danica McKellar) all grown up. I think you would have to have been a Baby Boomer growing up in this country to fully appreciate the nostalgia.