The Oscars

The rabid ferret living in Helena Bonham Carter's hair must have attacked Tim Burton's head. I mean, seriously, would it have hurt him to comb it for the Oscars? Are there mirrors in his house? Helena is a poem herself. I wish I understood the significance of her "do". I know. Meow. But really.

This year I wasn't willing to spend 3½ hours watching the Oscars. Why should I, when I can read hilarious recaps on TVgasm?

9:36pm
Commence the porn groove as badass Samuel L. Jackson comes out to present a masturbatory retrospective of movies with a "social conscience." Oddly, the montage is accompanied by "Rodeo" from Aaron Copland's Appalachian Spring, better known as the The Theme Song to Beef. Just after the music reaches soaring, inspirational heights, Jon Stewart deflates the entire montage with his sarcastic proclamation "...And none of those issues were ever a problem again." Haha, the Academy must HATE him.

Ok, he was a little confused about Copland's work, but he's funny. Check it out.